tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post112343974580751499..comments2024-03-06T07:13:04.347-05:00Comments on Masked Mom: The Harry/Sally QuestionMasked Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08197019009052401812noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-1124634316654807342005-08-21T10:25:00.000-04:002005-08-21T10:25:00.000-04:00I think the issues are well-stated here, but perha...I think the issues are well-stated here, but perhaps over-thought. A male/female friendship is certainly possible, however the attraction factor limits or expands the "hazards."<BR/><BR/>The thought comes to mind that it's rare to find any friend that isn't attractive to some part of our own psyche. Physical attraction does play a part in determining friendships with the opposite sex, as well.<BR/><BR/>It is those standards that my wife speaks of (old-fashioned, loyal, stubborn) that define whether you can or can't find a happy medium.<BR/><BR/>My poor, stubborn old brain simply can not accept that limitation: I may someday meet a lady that fits the description of "friend" without crossing the lines self-imposed by my marriage. That I haven't yet is perhaps more due to my understanding of the possible stresses, rather than the willingless to think open-mindedly.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-1124551903524083892005-08-20T11:31:00.000-04:002005-08-20T11:31:00.000-04:00Steven Wright asked, "How come it's 'a penny for y...Steven Wright asked, "How come it's 'a penny for your thoughts,' but you 'put your two cents in?' Someone's making a penny here!" <BR/><BR/>But your two cents are definitely appreciated. As I said, I never really expected to have this be an issue in my life and any insight is welcome.<BR/><BR/>I'm not completely oblivious to the "dangers," and I like to think being aware of them is a step toward avoiding them. If Mr. High School lived around the corner or our lives/schedules were such that we could spend twenty hours together EVERY weekend, I could see it being more of a problem. As it stands, we talk on the phone maybe once a week and the chances of us arranging another visit in the next six months or so are pretty small.<BR/><BR/>As for the "attraction" of the past--I think it's impossible to overstate the I'm not as cute and perky as I once was aspect of this whole thing. Also, Mr. High School is very "old-fashioned" and I don't see him ever being able to cross that line with someone else's wife. For my part, the same thing that made it possible for me to wonder for 20 years what might have been with Mr. High School has also contributed to the loyalty I feel to Hubby. We have been married for 18 years and it's impossible for me to wrap my mind around being with someone else, romantically or physically, even Mr. High School. (Whenever I say this, I sound like a self-righteous idiot even to myself, but I'm really NOT bragging. This aspect of my personality (doggedness, stubborness, addictive tendencies?) has just as often been a liability as a virtue.)<BR/><BR/>So, I guess I kind of agree with you that this is a situation fraught with potential hazards, but I also hope that by being aware of the issues, we can work around them.Masked Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08197019009052401812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-1124459533812114012005-08-19T09:52:00.000-04:002005-08-19T09:52:00.000-04:00Okay, you've introduced the subject, so I'm just g...Okay, you've introduced the subject, so I'm just going to go with it. Yes, a man and a woman can be "just friends". But I really think it's difficult to be very, very good friends unless the man is gay- and if there was EVER an ATTRACTION between the man and woman, well, you've got a problem.<BR/><BR/>I doubt I'm the only one who's been reading this blog and thinking this... I don't want to rain on your parade, but since you're talking about this today, I'm just offering my two cents.<BR/><BR/>And I'm speaking from some experience. I had a six-year boyfriend with whom I was at the point of engagement- then I met a guy at work who I thought was awesome. We started hanging out and I was sure we could be "just friends". Five years later, I'm married to him. <BR/><BR/>I'm not judging you in any way. If anything, I learned from the above experience to never judge people and assume that you know what's best for them. I think you're smart and hip and way cool. I also recognize a lot of my "rational" feelings in your writing that I had when I first met my husband... who is, by the way, my absolute soul mate and the love of my life and fulfills me in ways the old boyfriend could never have dreamed of. But I didn't know that at the time.<BR/><BR/>I look forward to reading your retort! ;)Suburban Turmoilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14788867412080827567noreply@blogger.com