tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post2953541963639253790..comments2024-03-06T07:13:04.347-05:00Comments on Masked Mom: Birthday WishesMasked Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08197019009052401812noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-82664116071181136242012-02-17T20:44:02.821-05:002012-02-17T20:44:02.821-05:00Our mothers share a birthday.
Thank you for shari...Our mothers share a birthday.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing a bit of her with us.Just Janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02861216483398553225noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-48709934379991628022012-02-16T13:12:20.009-05:002012-02-16T13:12:20.009-05:00"The only time she had for herself- with hers..."The only time she had for herself- with herself- was the bits and pieces at the edges of everyone else's needs." You've summed up the truth of motherhood in that sentence.Julie DeMillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17929034148906710834noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-22646841369236784982012-02-16T12:33:00.485-05:002012-02-16T12:33:00.485-05:00This post touches my heart in so many ways. Thank ...This post touches my heart in so many ways. Thank you.TangledLouhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04771682524596744447noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-18946180003147838842012-02-16T11:14:31.012-05:002012-02-16T11:14:31.012-05:00I have been struggling with this awareness for mos...I have been struggling with this awareness for most of the past year--when I turned 43, I was acutely aware that I was now older than my mother would ever be. And the whole year I was 42, I felt a deeper sense of connection to who my mother was than I really have at any time since her death. It's kind of weird to me, because I didn't really expect it to happen the way that it did.Masked Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08197019009052401812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-1996848782622922742012-02-16T11:11:58.417-05:002012-02-16T11:11:58.417-05:00Exactly, Melanie. I never doubted that the ministe...Exactly, Melanie. I never doubted that the minister had good intentions, but...<br /><br />When people are in that raw state just after losing someone (regardless of the age or circumstances), it's practically impossible to say the "right" thing, I think. This is probably going to get me off on a mental tangent--I think we have this idea that grief (especially fresh grief) is something that can be "fixed" or "minimized" with the right words, when really, it can only be suffered through. And I think the most helpful thing is to acknowledge the griever's pain rather than to try to make them feel "better."Masked Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08197019009052401812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-34932832494238017682012-02-16T11:07:58.844-05:002012-02-16T11:07:58.844-05:00All of it comes and goes in my head and heart. I&#...All of it comes and goes in my head and heart. I'm not sure if it was because this would've been a BIG birthday or if it's just because I'm still struggling with a funky (sort of stagnated) feeling about my own life, but it all seemed huge to me at the moment.Masked Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08197019009052401812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-9208401453234520182012-02-16T11:06:26.347-05:002012-02-16T11:06:26.347-05:00One of the thoughts that was left in my head after...One of the thoughts that was left in my head after I hit "publish" (and which is now part of the "Part 2"), is that it is never enough. Really, how can it be? We can intellectually understand that death is a part of life and that endings are built into beginnings, etc, etc, but I don't know that the heart ever really comes to terms with it.Masked Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08197019009052401812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-34298533150800291712012-02-16T11:04:30.121-05:002012-02-16T11:04:30.121-05:00Thank you so much, Lynda.Thank you so much, Lynda.Masked Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08197019009052401812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-53946195018970004412012-02-16T11:04:10.041-05:002012-02-16T11:04:10.041-05:00When I look back on that time, a lot of it is some...When I look back on that time, a lot of it is something of a hazy jumble. Definitely a time of tremendous change and growth for our whole family. I mentioned my issue with being unable to "process" emotional stuff in a post a while back. I have a feeling there is an enormous amount of unprocessed stuff lying around back in those days.Masked Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08197019009052401812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-54507846775178223952012-02-16T11:01:38.129-05:002012-02-16T11:01:38.129-05:00Enjoy your visit, Mark. It is wonderful that you a...Enjoy your visit, Mark. It is wonderful that you all still have one another.Masked Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08197019009052401812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-50325211658578627252012-02-16T11:00:31.978-05:002012-02-16T11:00:31.978-05:00Thanks, Judy. Me, too.Thanks, Judy. Me, too.Masked Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08197019009052401812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-38210337690812975362012-02-16T10:46:38.146-05:002012-02-16T10:46:38.146-05:00I had an intense awareness of the year I became ol...I had an intense awareness of the year I became older than my dad. I knew he was young when he died, but to my 4 year old self, he was a grown up man, Dad, husband, Superman. But, when I was that same age, I realized how young he really was. There is never enough time, but I'm going to savor every moment as it comes.Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05754778263332756663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-87062961360807181092012-02-15T21:28:24.364-05:002012-02-15T21:28:24.364-05:00I can't imagine how you feel about losing your...I can't imagine how you feel about losing your mom when both of you were so young. People do say things to the grieving that hurt, even with good intentions. Losing my dad in his eighties, some comments were, well, he had a good, long life. He did, but that doesn't mean we were through with him yet.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01468655681800817415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-86149500410492515132012-02-15T15:21:49.795-05:002012-02-15T15:21:49.795-05:00Thanks for this. I was thinking about all of the ...Thanks for this. I was thinking about all of the details around the hospital and her funeral a lot this week. I'll always regret that we never got to be adults together. . . to meet on equal ground.Youngest SIsternoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-88493909763445406882012-02-15T10:30:48.535-05:002012-02-15T10:30:48.535-05:00I don't know that it's ever 'enough...I don't know that it's ever 'enough'. I'm preparing a similar post for later this month, about my father who died at the age of 62, and I still feel as though that was far too soon.cdnkarohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12300104667616840616noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-34836752802925853242012-02-15T08:06:17.598-05:002012-02-15T08:06:17.598-05:00It is sad that your mom's life was too short. ...It is sad that your mom's life was too short. The minister was so wrong about asking her children to feel grateful that she lived "long enough". You didn't have enough time with her to get to know her, the way you should have. <br />Your children have a treasure with your blogs. Save them, print them, give them the gift of knowing you.lyndagracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13530605081989558341noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-85143135441691387672012-02-15T08:02:40.296-05:002012-02-15T08:02:40.296-05:00Powerful post, MM - 42 is amazingly young to die. ...Powerful post, MM - 42 is amazingly young to die. What is the lesson for those of us remaining? Perhaps, as Mark said, appreciating what we have?<br />That must have been a period of tremendous growth for you. To have small children (including a newborn) - your link to the future - and to lose your most immediate link to the past - all in the same breath - how confusing and unsettling.<br />Thanks for taking the time to write about this.Graciewildehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00142582724233027386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-6615691363189496242012-02-15T04:20:42.055-05:002012-02-15T04:20:42.055-05:00So much to reflect back upon and such a tumultuous...So much to reflect back upon and such a tumultuous period of time. It does require that I pause, and ponder the fact that my own 89 year old mom recently relocated off of the mountain, where my brother and I have been sharing elder-care responsibilities since my dad passed in 1996. She is in Willits, about an hour away. In fact, JT and I are paying her a visit on Friday, JT coming from the south, and I from the north. Thanks for sharing a poignant vignette with us; it just points out the fact that we should appreciate what we have, before it slips away.Mark O'Neillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16295762252612104201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12581247.post-19280616894957181522012-02-15T03:10:21.404-05:002012-02-15T03:10:21.404-05:00Your mother sounds like an amazing selfless woman ...Your mother sounds like an amazing selfless woman who loved her family. I'm really thankful that families are forever :)Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16917139752555698353noreply@blogger.com