Thursday, February 07, 2008

Top Ten Symptoms Of Severe Sleep Deprivation

10. You are disproportionately amused by this 6:40 a.m. announcement on the radio: "Our random drawing name this morning is Harry Beaver of blah blah. Harry Beaver, if you call by 7, you'll receive blah blah blah. Once again, Harry Beaver, we must hear from you by 7 a.m."

9. This line from Steve Martin's Born Standing Up seems not only disproportionately brilliant but an alarmingly apt description of much of your life: "Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration."

8. You find Chuck Palahniuk's latest book Rant: An Oral Biography of Buster Casey disproportionately moving and heartwarming despite the fact that practically every character and situation in the book is bizarre and disturbing to a point just this side of repugnant.

7. You find yourself disproportionately fascinated with the word "disproportionately."

6. Your "Top Ten" list is only five items long.


  1. I nominated you for a blog make over, hope you don't mind.
    lots of love, your un-pc friend

  2. Hi - have just come across your site. I'm Eric from - we are an online interactive forum for fathers based in New Zealand.

    I was wondering whether you might be interested in a link exchange or posting a monthly summary of father related issues from our blog.

  3. Erika--PC is for sissies...:) Haven't had a chance to check it out 'cuz of Valentine's Day at work...

  4. I only read 3/4 of "Rant" and I put it down. I was really disappointed. It was no "Choke".

  5. We, the loyal readers of your blog, in the interest of giving you a good night's sleep, decided to all throw in and buy you a new pillow case.

    The sleep number bed was voted down. The new pillow only got 5 votes out of 11. (BTW, I voted twice for each, in favor of course.)

    (I suspect that diyfather sabotaged the vote. He offered to vote for the resolution if we linked to him. We never heard back from the bastard.)

    Send me the bill.

  6. Coldfoot--I will take you up on your generous offer, but in my current state, I will require a whole afternoon to choose the exact "right" pillow case (chronic, pathological-level indecision being yet another side effect of sleep deprivation). As soon as I can clear my schedule for pillow case pickin', the bill will be on the way.

  7. Come on, you're kidding me about the Harry Beaver thing.

  8. Karla--100% true story. After I heard it on the radio, I was telling my brother about it and we came to the (only logical) conclusion that someone had submitted the name as a joke to get the DJ to say "Harry Beaver" on the radio. I'm such a dork that I looked it up in the phone book--there is a Harry Beaver--listed like that, not as Harold--in the town named on the radio. Somehow it was a lot funnier before I realized that was someone's actual name. Poor guy.

  9. Youngest Sister2/27/08, 3:14 PM

    There's actually an ob/gyn down here named Harry Beaver. No joke!!!! It's what we call an aptonym.

  10. Do you really want to be treated by an ob/gn who is either a)not smart enough to pick up on the joke or b)someone who thinks the joke is a riot? Pretty scary either way. (And every time one of these comes up I think of the dentist in Carlisle--Dr. Wrenchlar. So scary.)