Rushing around at work the other day, I bent down to get into the car and bashed my lip off the corner of the car door. It hurt so bad that even typing that two days later makes my eyes water a little. The corner pierced my lip and there was blood and swelling and bruising. I walked through the house past the guys and my coworkers with my hands cupped under my mouth, trying to catch the blood, unable to answer their, "Are you all right?"'s.
Once the bleeding was under control and ice was applied, a sympathetic coworker pointed out, "You're going to have to fill out an incident report."
And I said, "No way. What am I supposed to write on it, 'I was an idiot.'? That's not an incident; that's a chronic condition."
PS--I eventually did fill out an incident report, in case, as the ever-helpful coworker suggested, "it becomes infected and your face falls off."
19 hours ago