Saturday, June 23, 2012

Deep Thoughts With Daughter-Only

A couple of weeks ago, Daughter-Only and I stumbled into an unexpectedly deep conversation when she began telling me about how disappointed she sometimes is with herself--with how she is sometimes too easily distracted from the goals she sets for herself, and the trouble she has prioritizing the demands on her time and her desires for how to spend it.

This is a sentiment I identify with all too readily and after she had shared her own concerns, I offered what little motherly advice and insight I could muster.

I said, "You know, I'm 43, and these are things I still struggle with as well. So the good news is you're probably not going to die from it. The bad news is--"

Daughter-Only cut in: "...you're probably not going to die from it."

Exactly.

13 comments:

  1. I have to share this with my own daughter. We have had some conversations recently about disappointments (with life, with ourselves). I think daughter-only nailed the angst!
    PS: I miss you.

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    1. I miss you, too. Trying to make an incremental comeback this week. :)

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  2. Pain is a sign you're still alive and conscious. :)

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    1. Absolutely. Hope you're having a great time on your trip!

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  3. I'm probably going to be in trouble for saying this, but I don't get disappointed in myself. I get disappointed in the Giants once in a while, but as long as I am doing the best I can, I lay off the disappointment. Life can be hard enough as it is, without adding consequences for self-assessment to the package. Hope all is well with you and yours.

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    1. That sounds pretty wise, Mark. I commented elsewhere sometime this week about learning to apply the same compassion I try to offer others to myself from time to time.

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  4. Another good thing, when I am disappointed with myself, it helps me work harder.

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    1. That's a good point, Nellie. I do think up to a certain point it can be a motivator--at higher levels though I think it can paralyze us. We get into this vortex of low expectations and lower rewards and pretty soon we're not getting anything done at all. Like so many things, it's about finding a healthy balance, I guess.

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  5. Obviously it's a saying she's heard before. And one, I may steal....

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    1. I wish I could take credit for passing it along to her, but...alas, she's quicker-witted than her mother which has caused no end of heartburn.

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  6. Sounds as though daughter only is as smart as her mama. Which is to say very smart :).

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    1. Thanks, Miss Jane. That means a lot coming from an infinitely wise one such as yourself.

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  7. I will have to remember that one, I have a feeling I will need it with my eldest. She puts her self under so much pressure. I know that paralyzing fear and disappointment so well I don't want her to suffer from it too much!

    Def a smart mama!

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