Monday, May 22, 2006

Masked Mom's Media Monday: Squidward Tentacles

For the longest time after SpongeBob SquarePants premiered on Nickelodeon, I couldn't stay in the room past the theme song. I did, however, stay in the room long enough to change the words of the theme song--for example, "absorbent and yellow and porous is he" became "especially annoying to people like me," etc.

I'm not sure exactly when my feelings about the show changed--probably around the time Doc upped my meds or switched me over to that new neon, no, it was actually the episode where SpongeBob is trying to rally everyone in Bikini Bottom around Squidward, who's locked in some battle of one-upmanship with, I think, his long-lost and very successful brother, or maybe an old friend or doesn't really matter. SpongeBob was giving that speech, you know the one you've seen in a hundred corny old movies. Going around to each person in the crowd saying things like, "When you were stuck on your roof, who helped you?" and so on. Of course, in the corny old movie, the answer would've been Squidward. Squidward would've been quietly heroic and richly deserving of SpongeBob's loyalty and the help of everyone else in town. But, thankfully, Squidward is NOT that kind of squid.

No, Squidward is grouchy, cantankerous and antisocial. And I love him. I love him so much I have a Squidward collection--molded plastic figurines from gumball machines; a stamper that came in an Easter egg; a TY Beanie Baby that keeps me company at my computer, when I can find him amid the clutter left behind by three teen boys and a tween girl.

Daughter-Only says, "Why do you like Squidward? He's mean!" There is some evidence for this argument: in his character description on the Nickelodeon site, "mean" is the first word they use. But I would say that "mean" is not exactly accurate. Squidward never goes looking for trouble. He doesn't seek out any of the nitwits in Bikini Bottom, they all find him. His description on the Nickelodeon site makes much of how "annoyed" he is by everyone and everything--I submit that everyone in Bikini Bottom is so annoying that being annoyed isn't a character defect, it's a perfectly logical response. So even though Squidward is a cartoon character and one who would no doubt find me as annoying as he finds everyone else in his life, I love him.

Masked Mom's One-Word Review: Genius.


  1. Hilarious! I can just picture you rooting for Squidward. We actually have a friend who looks-and acts- just like Squidward, and we call him that privately! :)

  2. I never knew the greatness of Spongebob Squarepants until this past year, and my husband loves Squidward too. His put out manner and that "I should have evolved so many years after these morons" attitude of his quite possibly could make him the poster child for all of us who have to deal with the idiots in life. He is not mean, he is just beaten down in life with having to deal with people who cannot see past the nose on their face day after day after day after day.

    Oh so funny.

  3. I too have been converted to the ways of the SpongeBob force. I swore I'd never let my kid watch that obnoxious show. But, between that, Power Rangers, and all the other ones I wasn't letting him watch, I had to give in on something.

    I did. I watched. Um, I laughed. It is loud, it is obnoxious, but darn it if it isn't funny sometimes!

    I lean towards liking Plankton the best, I think. Although Squidward has some great moments too. And, of course being a gal from Texas I love Sandy Squirrel...