Thursday, October 19, 2006

Fill In The Blanks: Lame Joke From the Eighties

The radio station I listen to in the van while out on flower deliveries has a "9 to 5 No-Repeat Workday" program--where they make sure they don't play the same song twice between 9 and 5. Great, good, wonderful--of course, they have nothing at all against playing the same eight hours of music five days in a row so, consequently, when you're only listening to the radio for the same hour or so each day, you hear the same DAMN songs over and over from one day to the next.

One of those songs is "Come On, Eileen" by Dexy's Midnight Runners--one of those totally pointless songs that you could understand maybe two or three lines from but which nevertheless got stuck in your head and you'd find yourself trying to sing it and going, "ooooh--tooolooo-hmmm--C'mon Eileen--humpa--humpa--somepin'-else-far-too-young-and-clever" all damn day long and you kept thinking, maybe I'd understand it better if I knew all the words. To which I say, yeah, right, I understand it way worse now that I've seen all the words, but I seem to have strayed far, far, far from whatever sorry little point I've come here to make...

Every time I hear "Come On, Eileen" (which, I hope I've established, is entirely too often), I keep almost remembering a joke from the early '80s, the punchline of which was "come on Eileen." It went, I think, something like:

Q: What's worse (or better) than ______ on _______?
A: Come on Eileen! (Ah ha ha ha ha ha.)

Further complicating my search is that there was no doubt more than one variation on that theme. So does anyone remember any of those variations? Or have a guess that might quiet my geeky mind?


  1. What's better that sweat on Oliva Newton John? ...

    That's the one I was told. Which makes no sense. Eileen could be some horrific looking man-she-beast, and said bodily fluid may not be my own (which may also be a good thing since we are dealing with some man-she-beast).

    And switching 'better' for 'worse' in the setup does not help.

    My point? I think I would take sweat from ONJ over spooge from Eileen The Man-She-Beast any day.

  2. All good points Lou B.--after I posted this I did a web search for "come on eileen joke" and got "What's grosser than Grease on Olivia Newton-John? Come on Eileen!"

    Both yours and the web search one sound vaguely familiar and neither one makes they're probably both equally likely.

    5:26 PM

  3. OMG! Never heard that joke..sure Hubby has and USED it many times in his high school and probably current day repetuar. Funny!! I love it!

    Oh and thanks, no all I hear is that bass line in the song now..

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