Thursday, October 11, 2007

Would This Be A Curveball Or A...Spitball?

Last night, Nomi, our beagle/German shepherd/dork mixed breed dog was climbing all over me with a desperate need to lick me. This despite the fact that I don't approve of the dogs licking me--it's icky. There are few things I'm squeamish about but dog spit is one of them.

Now the dogs, at one and a half years of age, should be well acquainted with the fact that I don't let them lick me, but both of them will occasionally lose their minds with the powerful need to lick me. My response is to hold their heads back while trying to give them a consolation ear-scratch. Last night, Nomi was having a harder than usual time being distracted from the licking and I said to Daughter-Only who was passing through the room, "I've never let them lick me, they know I don't let them lick me and still they try to lick me! I just don't understand it."

And Daughter-Only goes (in a cutesy-wootsie voice), "She wuvs you! She just wants you to know how much she wuvs you!"

And I say, "I'm not sure why dogs can't express affection without spit."

And Daughter-Only says, "Humans can't express affection without spit."*

She was just a teeny bit too pleased with herself.

*Despite Daughter-Only's amusing assertion, there are, of course, ways of expressing human affection that don't involve spit. For instance, one could continue providing food and shelter to a house full of smartasses. That would be very affectionate...and non-spitty.


  1. I don't care much for dog spit either. Thankfully neither of our dogs are much in to licking. Now one of my cats on the other hand....

    And a small request...any new pup pictures???

  2. *and ridiculously generous of you.

  3. I love it when our offspring show us just how much they 'get it.' This proof carries more impact only when we grown-ups think we're sharing a joke, preferably filthy, that we think is way over their heads.

    I love this entry, MM. Thanks for posting.

  4. Cary--True dog spit nightmare: One of my friends ("Other Kid's" mother, actually) has a bloodhound. Sweetest dog ever but is never seen without gigantic (hanging, swinging) strings of drool dangling off of him. I always feel bad for him because even though I pet him I'm pretty sure he can tell I'm cringing the entire time. More pup pics soon--I've been meaning to do that for a while. I've just been dizzier and more disorganized than usual.

    Erika--It would be a lot easier if I felt they appreciated it in any way. :)

    Beth--Reminds me of the time my oldest came home from 4th or 5th grade and said, "What do a Coke machine and Monica Lewinsky have in common?" And when I said I had no idea (in fact, I had no idea my 9-year-old knew Lewinsky's name at all) he said, "They both say 'Insert Bill.'" and laughed so hard I thought he'd rupture something. Still not sure exactly how much he "got" it, but then I figure maybe it's better not to know.

  5. my brother, age 9 at the thanksgiving table, busted out, "sit on my face and i'll guess your weight."

    he still doesn't get it!

  6. Nita--I have one of those brothers, too! When he was around 13 or so a group of us were playing a version of rummy and one of us at the table got really excited about finally getting a card we'd been waiting for. Baby Brother goes, "Jeez, have an orgasm why don't you?"

    I was just teasing when I said, "Do you even know what an orgasm is?" I mean, I figured he MUST know what one was, right?

    And, dead serious, he goes, "Yeah, it's when a whole mess of people have sex."

  7. out of the mouths of babes.

    Dog spit in the face is a bit too much for me, but I let mine lick my hands or forearms...and then promptly go wash. I accidently caught Bear's toes the other nights and was petting her to say I was sorry, and she was licking my hand so I figured I was forgiven.

  8. Superfantastic10/19/07, 7:50 PM

    I wound up just embracing the dog spit while living with my former roommate and her extremely licky mutt. The more you struggle, the more determined she becomes. Plus, I found that a thorough face/neck/ear licking gave me serious giggle-fits, which, as we all know, are an excellent ab workout.

  9. Lick her back! (ok, that's gross, nevermind)seems like your daughter learned the art of being a smartass from someone??

    ; )

  10. LOL... I linked here from NaBloPoMo and not only was I incredibly intrigued by your description but love your blog! I look forward to reading your daily postings!!!