Monday, August 31, 2009

Our Little Girl Is A Woman Now, Or Have You Ever Really, Really Wanted To Laugh Even Though You Knew Laughing Was The Utterly "Wrong" Thing To Do?

So Ex Sister-in-Law and I and her two daughters, Third Niece and Fourth Niece*, along with Daughter-Only, were school shopping over the weekend. This shopping involved driving in Rochester, which compared with my teeny tiny town is the Big City. At one point, I lost patience with the guy in front of me and said just above a whisper, "All right, fuckwipe, make a decision or get the hell out of the way."

ES-I-L chuckled and said, "Wow, I've never heard you cuss behind the wheel before."

I explained that now that my job involves driving so much I really have a lot less patience for other people on the road. Daughter-Only piped up somewhat in my defense, "Well at least you're not as bad as So-and-So [a family friend known to be a little, shall we say, testy, especially behind the wheel]. She screams at everyone."

"Well, that's because So-And-So is a B-I-T-C-H," I pointed out, oh-so-cleverly spelling the word even though my nieces are 9 and 12 and well beyond the age when I can get away with that.

Without missing a beat, Third Niece chimes in, "Are you just F-U-C-K-I-N figuring that out?"

*Formerly Youngest Niece and Next-To-Youngest Niece, whose Blog Names have been changed by the arrival of Fifth Niece, brand new daughter of Baby Brother and Sister-in-Law-To-Be. Similarly, Only-Nephew has become First Nephew with the arrival of Second Nephew (formerly Fetus-On-The-Fridge).


  1. little sis9/2/09, 9:34 AM

    Third niece happened to mention this while visiting my house yesterday.She was quite proud of her own clever wit. I didn't know if I should correct her for the language or celebrate the new progress with her self esteem.
    Then I remembered I am the aunt. I get to just laugh at the situation and that was quite a bit of progress for me. You had know idea such a random comment could become the catalyst for such wide spread self discovery...or did you...after all you ARE the Masked Mom. (giggle-giggle)

  2. little sis9/2/09, 9:38 AM

    Just read my comment and realized that I wrote "know" instead of "no" because I couldn't decide if I should say "you didn't know" or "you had no idea"...I guess it was a subconscious gramatical compromise. Goes to show that progress has its price.

  3. Youngest Sister9/2/09, 12:28 PM

    Being her other aunt, I would have HAD to laugh too.

  4. It was funny period--at least from the aunt's perspective (and I couldn't help but laugh--loudly)--but it was funnier still because there was no hesitation--she was just on it likethat. She said it so fast and so smoothly that it actually took my brain a second to catch up and process what she said.

    As for the self-discovery aspect, I do what I can. :)

  5. I absolutely luff your footnotes.