Wednesday, September 02, 2009

I'll Take Potent Potables For $500, Alex

My current state of mind, revealed in text messages:

Little Sister: We have a bunch of lemons. Do you want them for lemonade?

MM: Sure--are these literal lemons or metaphorical lemons?

LS: I will just give you the literal ones and spare you my metaphorical ones. :)

MM: That sounds good. Despite what you may have heard, the metaphorical ones are often too sour to make a potable lemonade.

LS: Definitely! and bitter too.


  1. Looking at the law of averages (not to be confused with Murphy's Law despite the obvious reasons that we might)I don't think one can get much more sour or bitter than each of our metaphorical lemons.It's too bad we aren't better at sugar-coating things. We could open a metaphorical lemonade stand and make a fortune!Not that I am interested in collecting or anaylyzing the data but I am curious to know what percent of the population falls into the top percentile of risk for such a variety of categories.
    FYI: I have just decided to skip the sugar and squeeze the juice on my asparagus. Does that count in the When-life-hands-you-lemons... category?

  2. PS "SMENITA" was the word verification code for that last comment...not sure if I should add that to the baby name game or the profound profanity list right up there with "hamburger!"

  3. In a completely unrelated incident...While our brother's children were visiting this week his girlfriend's oldest daughter requested bug spray.Always safety conscious, I handed her the bottle of not-deep-woods version from the top shelf. She ran out the back door. A neighbor happened to be waiting for me in the dining room. We both almost peed our pants as we heard G.O.D (ha!ha!ha!) run by the open window yelling "Who wants bug spray?!" as if she were the koolaid man offering liquid refreshment to survivors of the longest desert crossing.

  4. "dentibat" was the verification for that one and "farater" is the one for this one...
    I don't know if I can stand it! Who comes up with these things?
    a dentist who is a vampire?
    an arab patriarch who farts A LOT?
    It's as good as sniglets!

    better go to sleep NOW!

  5. 1. Asparagus is way better than lemonade. And maybe "SMENITA" is the chemical reaction that makes your pee smell funny after you eat asparagus (with or without metaphorical lemon juice squeezed on it).

    2. I can so imagine GOD offering bug spray in just that manner.

    3. Here's hoping the lemons come in a little less tart sometime soon...can't expect them to stop coming altogether.


  6. Youngest Sister9/5/09, 9:15 PM

    I miss you guys! Lemons or no. : )

    PPS Libiqui?

  7. little sis9/6/09, 1:27 PM

    Miss you too. Funny note, a guy we know said they use to pee in the water after eating asparagus in order to attract trout. I told him we just used corn. I guess they would be considered the SMENITA experts because they would eat asparagus all day before leaving for all of their fishing trips.

  8. Miss you both too--communicating solely by texting and Internet is soooo droture it drives me libiqui!

  9. little sis9/7/09, 9:42 PM

    speaking of libiquil...these are the words you say when driving is a mind-numbing, ass-numbing experience on your best days and you drive an hour on the expressway before you realize that you are going East when you were supposed to go West...and you also realize that you were looking right at the directions when you made the decision to go the wrong way! exponentially Droture!
    "kedle"is that thing you want to wear over your head for the rest of your life when you also realize that there are people you must tell. Contrary to popular belief having no sense of direction has never meant that I can't read a map and follow directions...until now.hahaha!

  10. At least you didn't go east until you saw the New York City 54 miles (or whatever) sign... :)

    (I wasn't even going to MENTION my word verification--just gonna let it go because eventually we'll have to--it's never-ending's FUZABLI! I mean c'mon...!!!!)

  11. Youngest Sister9/8/09, 9:48 AM

    I once called my friend Alice to tell her that we were going to be late getting to their house because we were going the wrong way on the beltway. I left a message with her husband. Alice called me back ten minutes later. "You're not supposed to BE on the beltway. . . "

  12. I think this proves only one thing: Little sister needs her own blog.