Friday, May 04, 2012

Ways I'm Not A Grown-Up, The Fifth In A Potentially Infinite Series

I continue looking for the best in people long after repeatedly seeing what seems to be their worst. I continue believing in the best in me long after behaving at my worst all too often.
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14 comments:

  1. TangledLou5/4/12, 12:12 PM

    I might be a little biased, but don't you think that's more of a grown-up, enlightened sort of trait rather than childish?

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    1. Masked Mom5/5/12, 9:40 AM

      Like so many things, it's a matter of degree, I think. It is one thing to refuse to let one person's bad behavior permanently mar your view of the human race, but quite another to not let one person's ongoing poor behavior inform your view of him or her in particular. Especially when we're talking over the course of years and even decades.

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  2. Julie DeMille5/4/12, 1:20 PM

    That's a characteristic that should never change.

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  3. Larissa T.5/4/12, 1:42 PM

    I second, Jewels' comment.

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  4. Anonymous5/4/12, 3:32 PM

    Unless their worst falls into the "Red flag! Get this person out of your life NOW!" category, I think this is a wonderful trait that everyone should adopt.

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    1. Masked Mom5/5/12, 9:32 AM

      Unfortunately this is about behavior of the multiple red flags sort and my "worst" in these cases is a combination of inaction and then breaking down and responding in ways that I'm none too proud of.

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  5. Margi5/4/12, 5:30 PM

    Ditto everyone else.

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  6. lyndagrace5/4/12, 7:25 PM

    That is the type of "ungrownup" trait you should hold on to.

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  7. Noisy Quiet5/4/12, 9:27 PM

    OMG. Are you HERE? :oO

    MM if you and I were anywhere near each other right now.... We are in the same place. Except for the 2nd half of your post. I have not been behaving my worst, but I have been too affected by what's going on, and I do not want that. I don't know if that qualifies as behaving my worst. Maybe it does.

    Re Word Nerd's comment... that is the question.

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    1. Masked Mom5/5/12, 9:49 AM

      As I mentioned in the above reply, (and maybe I'm biased), but my own "worst" in these cases amounts more to inaction than action. I don't feel like I do enough to improve my situation particularly when it comes to line-drawing and I am not good at standing up for myself in a way that is proportionate, rational and reasonable. I tend to let things slide for ridiculously long periods of time until I reach a breaking point and then I rant and threaten a bit and then routinely fail to follow through on any of those threats. And, like you said, I let things get to me that probably shouldn't. After all, when someone has shown me so much "bad" behavior, why the hell would I be surprised, shocked or hurt by MORE bad behavior?

      I'm sorry you're in this yukky place, too, though it is nice to know I'm not alone.

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    2. Noisy Quiet5/5/12, 11:26 AM

      I'm sorry too. And I feel the same odd comfort that I'm not alone right now either.

      I line draw, eventually, and run. But not before damage is done, and I do not recover from that kind of stuff well.

      Wanting to stay and work things out... wanting to see if I can change how I am so that I can remain in the situation and have bad stuff roll off me and I can still keep the good stuff... wondering if *maybe* the other person can change (they can't. we know they can't. What's wrong with us that we keep believing? :( )

      And yet, I want the happy parts, I desperately want to believe in a good side to people, and I try to figure out what I can do to make reality what it was before and not the nightmare it is now.

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  8. a.eye5/5/12, 10:01 AM

    I think I suffer from the same affliction! I am not sure I want to see the bad in some others, though, or admit the bad in me.

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    1. Masked Mom5/5/12, 4:39 PM

      In moderation, I think it's a good trait to hope for the best in others. But at a certain point it's naive if not downright immature to continue expecting the best while receiving something else altogether. As for believing in myself--the issue there is not so much the belief (which is good), but the failing to act upon my best impulses, I guess.

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