Sunday, August 05, 2012

Spiral Notebook Sunday: Wednesday, December 8 , 2004

For all sorts of reasons, tonight's Spiral Notebook selection might best be filed under the heading "Getting more than you bargained for."

Wednesday, December 8, 2004

I've found that if you divulge enough shocking and "embarrassing" things about yourself, people will think of you as forthright, open, even courageous and entertaining. If you choose those details carefully, you can reveal tons of intimate moments of your life without exposing a single sincere facet of your actual self.

That's how it started, anyway, for me, as a defense mechanism. A way to appear transparent without actually revealing anything below skin level. But it's kind of become a habit now and I've learned to care less and less about what I reveal. My discernment gland has withered with disuse, causing a shortage of discretion in my system--so now not only do I not always make wise choices about what to reveal, I often seem to be unable to choose at all. I often find myself two-thirds of the way through some cringe-worthy story before it hits me that I have no idea why I am babbling on in that particular direction. I am lucky (or delusional) in that most of the people to whom I find myself divulging unexpected secrets seem to find it eccentric and charming rather than rude and burdensome.


  1. I really feel this one. I feel as though I've been outed.
    Is the divulging of this particular defense mechanism just further evidence of it? Perhaps.
    But seriously, as far as defense mechanisms go (and I may be a bit biased) there are worse ones to have.

  2. I originally dug out this particular excerpt when you posted your first Sisterhood of the Blurt post--just never got around to posting it. And, of course, I share your "bias."

  3. Might just have to join you on this one! I don't mind divulging things usually I just wish I could pick who I divulge to a little more carefully!