Friday, April 11, 2014

A Masked Mom Original From Way Before She Was Masked Or A Mom

I have been stringing words together for fun and entertainment (and occasionally spite) for as long as I have known how to string letters together into words. I also have the slightest packrat tendency and as a consequence, a startling amount of those words remain in my possession in some form or other.

For instance, I have a manila envelope labeled "Guts of Mickey Mouse Notebook" which holds the earthly remains of several spiral notebooks that I once kept in a yellow three-ring binder that had Mickey Mouse on it. I began writing stories in these notebooks in around the 4th grade. The front fell off the binder mid-way through my freshman year of high school. The back fell off the rings when my youngest child was five or maybe six. I slid everything that was left into the manila envelope about eight years ago on a day when Daughter-Only and First Niece were having fits of hilarity at the (wholly unintended) sexual innuendo in a story I called "A Fun Time" that I wrote when I was nine.

Tonight, I share a fifth grade story I have zero recollection of writing--though the autobiographical slant to this fictional piece is undeniable--especially to anyone who is familiar with how often I was the "new child" in class. Undeniable--and sort of hilarious.
(In order not to wear out the S, I, and C keys on my keyboard, assume all errors below to be [sic].)

The original in all its misspelled glory. From the 1978-'79 school year.

Trouble Makers
     One day in a school in Kentucky* some children met on the playground. These particular children loved making trouble. The oldest group was Mark McDonald he made sure everyone did what they weren't supposed to do. There were many other children. Mildred B. was one of the best trouble makers. But, one who was even better was Amillia C. There were many more of them. They called themselves T.T.M. which means: Triple Trouble Makers.
     One time a new child came to class. Her name was Candy. On the first day she really liked the T.T.M. Because they were acting very nice. But on the next day she found how they acted. Oh, dear there was a terrible argument. In the end Candy wouldn't even go near the T.T.M.
     To finish the story I'll tell you just T.T.M. does. There are a number of rotten things.
     First, they taugt people to dislike other people. Another bad thing is cheating and stealing just about anything they could get there hands on. Plus they took anything and everything that they could get for free.
     So you see, they are truly Triple Trouble Makers!
J is for Juvinilia

*For what it's worth, I was never the "new child" in a class in Kentucky. In fact, as far as I know, I'd never even been through Kentucky and I haven't been to Kentucky to this day. Not that I've got anything against Kentucky, of course.


  1. Ha! I'm terrified to go through my old stuff.

    1. It's alternately horrifying and hilarious to look through it. I do it every once in a while just to torture myself. ;)