A friend and I were texting the other day about her ex-boyfriend's current girlfriend*. This girlfriend has a disproportionately large, um, behind--it's so noticeable that I've literally never heard anyone mention her in passing without also mentioning her--uh--backside.
My friend: Do you think my butt is almost as big as hers?
Me: Are you on crack? (Butt crack maybe?)
Considering what a way I have with words, it's really a wonder the literary establishment isn't knocking down my door at this very moment.
*Oh stop--you know you do it too.
Wrong, Wrong, Wrong
9 hours ago