Sunday, August 06, 2006

Signs Your Husband Is Feeling Neglected

Sign #1: You're in bed, asleep, when he comes to bed and cuddles in and then he starts rubbing. You make a whiny, growly sort of protest noise because the heat index is off the charts and has been for a week and for the weeks before that a variety of stresses--some everyday and some out of the ordinary--have sucked the life out of you and really you are beyond not interested. He laughs and continues rubbing. You say, "Listen, I love you, but if you don't stop that I'm really going to have no choice but to punch you."

He says, "Well, at least then I'd be getting some attention from you."

Sign #2 You and the Hubby are on an excursion to buy new collars for the puppies (one--or two--of the aforementioned stresses are the puppies, but you struggle mightily not to throw that in his face--even though he made a unilateral decision to bring two additional living things into the home without fully considering the effect or consulting with any of the other members of the family). As you walk into Tractor Supply (which carries better made and less expensive pet supplies than either pet store in town) with its concrete floors and farm machinery parts and practical, no-nonsense atmosphere, Hubby reaches over to give you a squeeze (it's almost innocent, but a little too much boob-grab in it to be completely chaste), and says, "I can't believe I've got you to myself for all of ten minutes!"*

Poor guy.

*Before you feel too bad for him, please note that just before he made this remark he had been criticizing my parking/driving skills--so when he said this, I did feel a little bad for him for having neglected him so much lately, but then I said, "Yeah, you've got me for ten minutes and you want to spend it all telling me what a bad driver I am."


  1. Tell him to read Krust's blog, they can whine together....

    Tractor Supply is the place I buy Sydney's diaper ointment. The stuff that they use for nursing cows works better than any other diaper ointment I have found. Yep, I am from Texas and I use utter ointment on my daughters butt...

  2. Kind of heartless and unkind comments. I'm sure he has his issues with you too.

  3. A. Way to comment two-plus years later. And anonymously which is even better.

    B. Duh. This post is about his issues with me neglecting him not about any issues I have with him.

    C. We've been married for over 21 years. Pretty sure we're going survive these (two-year-old)"heartless and unkind" comments of mine. If you've been married less than that or, better yet, never married at all, I'm not really interested in your advice.

  4. I found this post when my husband told me to google How to please your neglected husband. And I've gotten the almost innocent boob grab.

  5. I dunno, here's an idea, stop neglecting your husband's sexual needs. How would you feel if your need for communication was met with "not tonight, I have a headache, uggs, I'm not in the mood" time and time again for months on end with no effort to compromise or improve things. That wouldn't bectoleretats right? We should your husband then?

    1. Hmmmm, I'm no psychologist, but I'd wager this comment is way more about your marriage or relationship than it is about mine.