"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should've been more specific."
~~Lily Tomlin
(This one goes out to Youngest Sister, who has always shown amazing restraint in the "I told you so" department.)
Before we even get to my offense (which is enormous), let me begin with my defense (which is puny).
When Daughter-Only was born, she joined a household which included three older brothers, the oldest of whom was six. I had worked full-time up until the week before she was delivered. We also had a dog and several cats, most of whom I ignored completely, but I am adding them to this list in hopes of tipping the scales of justice a little bit in my favor. The ultrasound I had a week or so before she was born showed that she was a girl, which after three boys in a row, was a mind-blowing distraction of its own. (Honestly? I thought the tech was just messing with me because she had just asked me how many of which variety I had at home.) In addition, I went into labor at approximately 2 a.m. and delivered around 6 a.m. thereby messing with my sense of time even more. And not to protest too much, but I also had surgery at 9 a.m. the day after she was born and was released out into the world a few short hours later.
Consequently, my sense of time was somewhat distorted and for several years after she was born, I told everyone Daughter-Only's birthday was June 24. It was (and remains) June 23.
Youngest Sister tried to point this out to me on at least one occasion. I shudder to recall the tone in which I said, "I know my own daughter's birthday."
When it was time for kindergarten registration, I pulled out Daughter-Only's state-issued baby pink birth certificate and was horrified to discover my mistake--my face was pinker than the paper the correct date was printed on. I have since apologized (and made unnecessary excuses) to Youngest Sister, but apparently, the universe has decided that I have not yet done penance enough for my mistake.
Earlier this week, Daughter-Only's first-ever income tax return was rejected for e-filing by the IRS because the birth date listed on the return did not match the birth date on file with the Social Security Administration for that Social Security number. Let the record reflect the fact that the application for said Social Security number was filled out by me before I left the hospital after giving birth to Daughter-Only. And, if we've learned anything here today, it's that there was a time when I truly did not know my own daughter's birthday.
I broke the news to Daughter-Only that her refund would be delayed because the Social Security Administration had her birth date listed incorrectly.
Daughter-Only said, "How does that even happen?"
"Uh, somebody must've screwed up somewhere along the line."
I always wanted to be somebody...
That's hilarious - although it's usually when out children are much much older than newborn that we get their birthdates wrong :)
ReplyDeleteLOL - I loved this. Thank you for sharing this. I've been obsessing lately about What type of "SomeBody" I want to be..This was the perfect humor post to make me see things in a different light.
ReplyDeleteThis might be one of the funniest things I've ever read.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the chuckle! My mom's parents did that too- you're not alone! Her birth certificate had always said Dec 28th even though it was Dec 29th, and she just went with it for the longest time because it was too much of a pain to change. But she lost a piece of ID a year or so ago and had to re-order her form, deciding to get it corrected once and for all, and it was a HUGE hassle that involved tracking down her baptismal certificate from a church that had burnt down...lol Could be worse! As long as you remember the bdays NOW, you're ahead of the curve;)
ReplyDeleteHmm. . . what to say, what to say?? Nothing, I guess. I think you covered it. Although I do think I showed remarkable restraint! : ) Having gone through 24 hours of labor and a c-section, I now understand a little more how these things might happen. And I only had two dogs at home.
ReplyDeleteThis? This is awesome!
ReplyDeleteSee? I'm always saying they should not let make any decisions or handle anything important for at least two weeks after a baby is born. Or two months.
ReplyDeleteHA! Oh no. At least you remember the year she was born...and her name. My mom is convinced I was born in 1974 (1972, thanks) and, when I would get in trouble, she'd yell every name of every one - including the dog and cat's - before she'd finally remember who she was screaming at :). She, occasionally, still calls me Joan (the dog who has been deceased now about 12 years).
ReplyDeleteOur number 4 was born one day before number 2's fifth birthday. For years I couldn't remember which was which and had it wrong on our health insurance for a long time.
ReplyDelete