Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Paging Dr. House

It is truly a House-worthy medical mystery. How else to explain that in a household of four people, the youngest of whom is very nearly 18, and all of whom are ostensibly of at least average health and normal physical development, I alone possess the manual dexterity required to thread the plastic roller through the cardboard tube of a new roll of toilet paper and actually replace it properly in the brackets where it belongs?

My apologies for the graphic nature of this photograph. Please understand it is in no way gratuitious. It is my hope that showing the grisly effects of this as yet unnamed disorder will spur the medical community to action and hasten identification of the illness and the development of treatment options. With enough awareness and action, perhaps--dare I dream?--there may even be a cure in my lifetime.
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24 comments:

  1. Judy4/17/12, 11:35 PM

    Well, apparently that affliction is very contagious because out of the 6 people living in our house now, all of whom are over the legal age, I am the only one able to perform that activity as well. It must be an epidemic

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  2. Anonymous4/17/12, 11:41 PM

    I'm with Judy. It's spread to my house, too. I'm afraid.

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  3. Michelle4/18/12, 12:46 AM

    Someone is putting the roll on at my house...but they are putting it on backwards (in my opinion!) I haven't said one word, I'm so thankful someone else is doing it!

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    1. Noisy Quiet4/18/12, 4:26 AM

      Oh yes, the "backwards" thing. How is it that people can go through the trouble to put the paper on at all, and then do it backwards? And how can they NOT KNOW IT'S BACKWARDS???!!

      Delete
    2. Judy4/18/12, 11:10 AM

      I HATE backwards!

      Delete
    3. Noisy Quiet4/18/12, 1:24 PM

      For completions sake, I'll admit that "Backwards" does have one purpose. If you have a dog or cat who likes unrolling toilet paper, putting it on backwards prevents that.

      In ALL OTHER SITUATIONS it should be on the RIGHT way! :)

      Delete
    4. Julie DeMille4/18/12, 4:07 PM

      I completely went against my mother when I got married and started putting it on the right way. I get frustrated when I go to her house and it's backwards. (She claimed it was to keep us from using so much.)

      Delete
    5. Masked Mom4/18/12, 7:02 PM

      ONCE in the past month or so someone at my house did put the roll on the holder, but whoever it was did it the opposite of the way I do it (my way, which I now realize completely the WRONG way in any case, as I replied below). I had to remind myself to just be grateful that someone had done it at all. It worked, too, for about fifteen seconds, then I put it back MY way.

      Delete
  4. Graciewilde4/18/12, 8:19 AM

    OOOOHHHHH - I love House - but mostly I love Wilson! I even named my phone after him!
    as for the mystery, somehow the people who live here all know how to do that. What NONE of them (except for me) know how to do is open blinds in the morning. I swear they would all walk around in the dark all day, oblivious to the natural light - seriously folks, that's why that little string is hanging there. Take the end of the string in your hand, where the plastic doohickey is, and pull. voila! light! The second part of that is , when it gets dark outside, do it again! GRRRR

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  5. Winnie4/18/12, 2:39 PM

    Ha ha ha..This cracked me up. It happens at home, at the office etc.........Thanks for the chuckle.

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  6. Julie DeMille4/18/12, 4:08 PM

    When you find that cure, let me know.

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  7. Graciewilde4/18/12, 4:15 PM

    Okay -- but here's an interesting question: exactly which way is right and which is wrong? RR says it's obvious which way is right and which way is wrong -- I just asked him - he says the way we do it is right.....

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    Replies
    1. Noisy Quiet4/18/12, 5:17 PM

      Paper over the top and hanging down the front of the roll. Same with paper towels. - And if anyone DARES to think differently ;) buy a roll of printed toilet paper or paper towels and see which way it has to be facing for the designs to be right side up and visible (You'd think the manufacturer's would be experts in this thing!)

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    2. Graciewilde4/18/12, 6:37 PM

      Whew! I'm glad we got that answered.... we do put it on the right way!
      I was worried there for a minute. This way it comes off easily (which is probably why public restrooms run it the other way.... less TP to buy.

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    3. Noisy Quiet4/18/12, 6:44 PM

      Now *that's* interesting. I never thought about the public restroom thing. They DO make it difficult to use! I thought they were just stupid! Lol! I always end up using far more paper due to the difficulty in getting it off those rolls. - They lose a lot of money with me!

      FYI, I'M relived you do it the right way too! Imagine the HORROR if you'd discovered otherwise! :D

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    4. Masked Mom4/18/12, 6:59 PM

      At the risk of alienating a good portion of my readership (and two of my favorites at that!), I am a "backwards" girl--and it's hilarious that the public restroom thing came up because THAT'S when I became a convert. I had to clean and stock bathrooms when I worked at Burger King (my first job) and the woman who trained me instructed me to bring the end out from underneath/behind the roll and it's just always stayed with me. I don't remember it being one way consistently at all at home when I was growing up and for some reason, I've always considered the woman who trained me at Burger King to be the authority on the matter. A disturbing thought, that.

      Delete
    5. Noisy Quiet4/18/12, 8:02 PM

      I seem to have lost a comment I posted. Sorry if this posts twice. Or maybe you deleted it out of spite! Lol!

      I'd said that considering the woman at Burger King to be the authority on toilet paper was your first mistake! :D I also said we could still be friends but I might have to crazy glue my TP holder if you ever came over so you couldn't switch it around!

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    6. Graciewilde4/18/12, 8:30 PM

      It will take A LOT more than toilet paper (or lack of same, even) for you to alienate me!

      Delete
    7. Masked Mom4/18/12, 10:36 PM

      I promise I didn't delete you, NQ. :)

      And, Graciewilde (love the name change, by the way), that's probably the sweetest thing anyone's said to me in a while, not to mention the best context I've ever seen toilet paper discussed in. :)

      Delete
  8. Stella4/18/12, 7:40 PM

    Ha! Reading that, remembering sitting on the toilet and looking at an empty toilet roll holder with NO other rolls in sight (never mind actually on the holder) makes me add to my list of reasons why living alone is actually quite nice.

    Sorry about the graphic nature of my comment.

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    Replies
    1. Noisy Quiet4/18/12, 7:59 PM

      Lol Stella! There's LOTS of bathroom stuff that's better when living alone!

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    2. Masked Mom4/18/12, 10:37 PM

      No need for apologies, Stella, you make a good point. ;)

      Delete
  9. TangledLou4/25/12, 5:55 PM

    I'm with Stella. On most days, I'm happy there's TP in there at all. Also, I'm a backwards roller. It has something to do with the velocity with which it can come off the roll when a bored toddler decides to flip it and watch it spin. Seems like the "backwards" way doesn't come off as fast. Now that no one in my house does that anymore (very often) it still kind of just has to be that way. This is why I went to college and got good grades. So I could reason through the Toilet Paper Directional Conundrum.

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    Replies
    1. Masked Mom4/26/12, 9:47 AM

      Considering the lengthy debate about the Toilet Paper Directional Conundrum played out here, I think you made a wise decision indeed.

      Delete

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