Saturday, April 21, 2012

Ways I Am Not A Grown-Up, The Third In A Potentially Infinite Series

I am 43 1/2. I still count the half. Except when I don't. Like, for example, the two times this week when someone asked me how old I was and, both times, I said, "I'm forty-uhhhhhh-three. Forty-three." But in those cases, that hesitation was really me just trying not to count the half out loud.

When I was 32 1/2, I was on a flower delivery with eleven-year-old Son-Two along for the ride. We came to a traffic checkpoint where the state troopers were checking for seatbelts, valid registrations and inspections,etc. As we rolled up to the checkpoint, the state trooper checked our stickers and our seatbelts and started to wave us on, but then he said, "Hold on. How old are you? You don't even look old enough to have a license."

I said, "I'm 32 and a half." Trust me when I say that adding the half in that moment did nothing to convince the officer of my maturity.

He did not merely laugh, he guffawed. He said, "Don't you know that once you turn ten, you're supposed to stop counting the half?"

Perhaps I am more mature than I give myself credit for--or at least I was in that moment--because I did manage to stifle the urge to stick my tongue out at him as I drove away.
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12 comments:

  1. lyndagrace4/21/12, 11:36 PM

    For some crazy reason I round my age up after I hit the midway point. At my age it takes more time to get used to the new number.

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    1. Masked Mom4/22/12, 9:43 PM

      I rounded up to thirty the whole year I was 29. I figure thirty was coming, might as well get used to it. :)

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  2. Just Jane4/22/12, 12:05 AM

    I still count the half but, when I hit 39 1/2, I must confess I rounded up to 40. For a long time, I couldn't actually remember how old I was. Someone would ask and my first inclination was to say, "18". Even after I was long past 18. Age is so weird.

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    1. Masked Mom4/22/12, 9:44 PM

      It really is--and even though part of my hesitation is trying to fight the urge to add the half in inappropriate conversations, the other part is I sometimes have to do the math.

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  3. a.eye4/22/12, 11:33 AM

    So funny. I don't know why it's not ok for adults to count the half. I don't even tell most people my age, but from now on, when I do, I will add the half.

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    1. Masked Mom4/22/12, 9:45 PM

      Count the half! You're only young once but you can be immature forever--trust me, I'm gaining on forever every day. ;)

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  4. Sleepy Joe4/22/12, 5:46 PM

    Love this, why not add the half. It sounds like a great way to stay young at heart. I think I will add this when asked my age, when I can remeber it that is.

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    1. Masked Mom4/22/12, 9:46 PM

      I have been struggling with remembering, too lately. I guess it just isn't uppermost in my mind--at a certain point I think our brains get full and things start falling out. Unfortunately, we seem to have little control over what stays and what goes.

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  5. Unknown4/22/12, 7:05 PM

    I like Sleepy Joe's idea of using the "half" to stay young at heart, as well as sharing his confusion over his age. By 54.75, I've been ever so many ages over the years!

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  6. cdnkaro4/23/12, 8:40 PM

    The half is totally valid. Just ask my 4 year old- he is adamant on this point.

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  7. TangledLou4/24/12, 11:33 PM

    I'm never exactly sure how old I am, so I just tell people random numbers. I told a group of 2nd graders yesterday that I was 143. They didn't buy it, but it gave me time to do the math.

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