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Monday, January 27, 1992
The summer I turned twelve, I took Dad's bike out every evening and rode all over Monroeton. They were perfect golden-green evenings--complete peace. Usually I rode out the highway--past a sheep farm, I remember--and then I'd double back through Monroeton's quiet streets. Sometimes I would wander around by the river. It never really mattered what I did. Many nights, I stopped in the deserted parking lot of The Yum Yum Tree and worked on teaching myself how to ride the bike with no hands. And when I'd mastered it--when I could make it up and down the slopes in the lot without wobbling or panicking--I thought to myself that I could be good at anything that I tried hard at.
The way I felt in that moment and the way I felt all those trips around the block is something I need to keep inside myself. I need to keep it in plain sight, where I can pick it up and look it over and remember what it was to feel so certain of myself.
So true -- just an fyi - research shows that adolescence - particularly early adolescence is the killer of confidence in girls -- as a 10 year old many girls are strong and then the whole comparison, meida thing hits and bingo - they lose it - sometimes never to find it again - or, at least , not to find it until adulthood.
ReplyDeleteI was on top of the world in 8th grade - and dead in the water in 9th - that confidence did not return until after a painful early first marriage.
We have to support our teenagers much more than we do - both boys and girls.
By the way, I LOVED your piece - the image was clear and I could see you woring hard on learning to ride sans hands - (which is still a ton of fun for me and makes me feel so COOL!)
I remember riding around our neighborhood without hands, feeling like I was so cool. That feeling ended as soon as I entered the halls of jr. high.
ReplyDeleteOh I remember that feeling too! In fact I was remembering it just yesterday, and thinking I should ride my bike more often. It was fun, and totally made me feel so very accomplished. (:
ReplyDeleteI know your post is a personal reflection, but the Masked Mom with whom I have become acquainted, would not appear to be lacking in confidence. Thought-provoking post.
ReplyDeleteWhen you get to fifty you get it back again, that feeling that you can do anything. Only thing is the body's not what it used to be.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post. Be careful, things always look better in hindsight - later on you will probably think now was the time of your life. :)
This brings back so many memories of what carefree, confidence I had riding my bike.
ReplyDeleteThis is so beautiful and resonates so much with me.
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