Tuesday, April 03, 2012

Ways I Am Not A Grown-Up, The First In A Potentially Infinite Series

Welcome to a new series here at Masked Mom in which I will enumerate the many ways, despite overwhelming chronological and cosmetic evidence to the contrary, that I am not a grown-up.

Way number one: I do not carry a purse. Or even a wallet. I did carry a wallet for ten or so years and I do often carry a tote bag* full of books, notebooks, etc, but I haven't carried a wallet for three years and a "real" purse for much longer.

Because of this, I carry any ID or whatever I might need in the back pocket of my jeans.

Because of this, when I am walking into a grocery store, I will touch the back pocket of my jeans to make sure my debit card is in there.

Because of this, I am always reassured when I can feel a rectangular plastic card in my back pocket.

Because of this, I have the extreme pleasure of engaging a little too often in conversations such as the one I had this afternoon:

Cashier: How are you today?

MM: I'm great. [Glancing down at the plastic card I'm about to swipe through the card reader.] I'd be a lot better if this was my debit card instead of my library card. I'm gonna have to run out to my van.

*This bag has been a variety of bags over the years and is currently a canvas tote bag decorated with pansies, which are my favorite flower. The bag was a gift years ago from Cranky Ex-Boss Lady. Whichever bag it's been, it's my transitional object. What it is not is a purse. I take it with me when I drive clients to out of town AA meetings and several of them have said, "Do you have any tissues in your bag?" Or "Do you have any lotion in your purse?" Um, nope. Sorry. Not a grown-up.

24 comments:

  1. Too funny! I tried for awhile to always have tissues in my purse/bag. But now, it's down to debit, ID, keys and chapstick. Must have chapstick!

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    1. Chapstick's a front pocket thing. ;)

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    2. I thought of you yesterday when I reached for my debit card and came up empty handed. Not in my bag, my pockets or the car! My daughter bought everything and when I got home I found the missing card: wrapped in an old shopping list. I did get a lecture from my daughter that I should be more careful!

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    3. This rings a bell for me. Also--I have actually THROWN out cash wrapped in receipts and then had to dig through the garbage to find it. Sure, I could be sensible and organized and keep things like cash in a wallet, but I would lose the opportunities for self-discovery that only come with making that decision of just exactly how much money is worth digging through the garbage for.

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  2. Funny! I think I'm really gonna love this new series. :O)

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    1. I've said this before and will no doubt say it again: You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

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  3. Awesome! I tried to buy lunch with my Costco card the other day. No dice.

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    1. Strangely, the library isn't anymore impressed by my debit card than the grocery store is by my library card. What's up with that?

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  4. Oh, I am definitely going to LOVE this new series! As much as possible I avoid carrying any kind of purse but I do still haul around that wallet. I want to just put that debit card in my back pocket too (along with Wilson - my phone, remember? ) but I am afraid I will forget it in there and it not be in the wallet when I need it the next time. AHHHHHH - Where is that %###@ card!

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    1. It's a flippin' miracle I haven't washed the debit card or lost it in some other way.

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  5. That is so funny! I love that you think this might be an "infinite" series :)

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    1. Trust me, there are countless ways...or if they can be counted, I haven't yet counted them, which is probably just another one for the list. :)

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  6. This is sounding oddly familiar to me...

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    1. Just like misery, immaturity loves company.

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  7. Love it. Can't wait to hear the other ways you're not a grown up, though I believe the more suitable expression would be 'still a child at heart'. p.s. I definitely do that with my debit card too. I have yet to find a purse that looks ok and is also functional (i.e. big enough for diapers and toys), without looking like a suitcase.

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    1. I can definitely identify with that search. It's why I finally gave up. :)

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  8. LOL, wrong card!, well unless you are at the library. :D

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com/

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    1. "Wrong card" is one of the running themes of my life.

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  9. Oh! I'm going to loooovee this series!

    I've tried to carry a purse, but nothing fits in purses. I mean, if I pack one book, one notebook, and a pen. Poof. Nothing fits anymore. So I've resorted to carrying a rather large looking bag. I get teased about it, but hey, the stuff fits!

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    1. Exactly! I've always known you to be wise beyond your years, Larissa!

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  10. I have a serious addiction to purses. In this manner, I'm too much of a grown-up and too much like my mom. I have, however, been in the line and realized I didn't have my wallet in my purse. How dumb is that?

    Pansies? I LOVE pansies. When I was growing up, we sang a song in church about 'little purple pansies touched with yellow gold', it was my favorite song.

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    1. Jewels, if it's dumb, then you've got some good dumb company. And I will have to send you some pansy bag pictures. ;)

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  11. Ha! I love the new series!

    What do you do when you're not wearing jeans?

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  12. Heh--another way in which I'm not a grown-up. I always wear jeans or sweat pants and I never leave the house in sweat pants. I'm not terribly proud of this, but I actually had to borrow a dress for my mother's funeral. I have attended one wedding in a borrowed dress and been an attendant in two weddings (and both women had navy for their attendants so I used the same dress for both). I also attended a bridal shower in a borrowed pair of dress pants. Those are the only exceptions to jeans and sweat pants in 20 years. So very not a grown-up. :)

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