Thankful But

I'm thankful that I have the ingredients to prepare a nice meal for my family...but not really looking forward to spending half the day in the kitchen.

I'm thankful that I have four mostly happy, mostly healthy children...but I wish they bickered less, and worked to their full potential at school (or at least met their potential halfway), and helped a little more around the house without arguing over every single chore.

I'm thankful for my almost twenty-year-old marriage...but I wish there were fewer days when I thought to myself, "Why is this still so hard? When is it gonna get easier?"

I'm thankful for my job--in this economy (nationwide, but especially our little corner of New York State) any job is a blessing, but...I wish my boss was a little less psycho and less needy and that she understood boundaries a little more and that she maybe could stop calling me at 7:13 a.m. to tell about the story she's watching on Good Morning, America at that very moment, failing to understand that a) if I gave one good crap about Good Morning, America, I'd find some way to watch it myself, b) I have four children to get out the door on time so don't have time for GMA or her phone calls regarding it, and c) at 9 a.m., I will be her captive audience for eight full hours so why can't she save it until then?

I'm thankful for my extended family--my dad and siblings and my nieces and nephews (not my aunts, uncles, cousins)--and that we are all close and mostly get along...but sometimes it's a little overwhelming to be in the same room with all of them and sometimes I wish that Baby Brother (who doesn't have Internet access and wouldn't be surprised or (I hope) offended to read this even if he did) could ask a little less of me, for his sake as well as my own.

I'm thankful for the blog world and the opportunity for connection that it provides free of charge...but how come everyone got more comments than me today?

I'm thankful for my ability to write...but frustrated by my inability to manage my time and energies better so that I actually could write for extended periods (somewhere other than the blog) and overwhelmed by the odds (glutted markets, cranky editors) against writing ever being anything more than an elaborate and all-consuming hobby for me.

I'm thankful for the library and all the books in it...but I think my chronic reading habit really eats into what could be my writing time and, on the more philosophical side, the long list of books I want to read has a tendency to remind me of my mortality--'cuz there ain't no way I'm ever getting to the bottom of that list.

I'm greatful* for so much to be thankful for...but wish I could be more of a grown-up and just be thankful with no strings attached.

*That one's for Daniel.