Thursday, November 02, 2006

A Thing No One Should Ever Have To Hear Or Say But Which Is So Much Fun To Say I've Repeated It To Everyone I Know & A Few People I Don't

"Your uvula is stuck to your tonsil!"

This was said upon inspecting Daughter-Only's throat last week, three days after the provisional strep diagnosis, that, as it turned out, was incorrect. Three days into treatment, she wasn't showing any real improvement (and in some ways--in the uvula stuck to the tonsil, adhered there by mucus and/or pus way, for example--she was worse) so I called the doctor's office to double check on the strep culture they'd taken Monday morning. Secretary says, "Nurse says it came back negative, so there's nothing to worry about and you're all set. Thanks for calling!" To which I said, "No, um, wait, she's not any better so the fact that it's not strep really makes me concerned about what it might be. Can I set up an appointment?" all the while thinking, "No, um, having your uvula stuck to your tonsil is not my idea of 'all set.'"

During the initial uvula conversation, Daughter-Only had what can only be adequately described as a spaz attack. "Mom! Why did you tell me that? It's going to drive me crazy now." Despite the fact that she wasn't suffering any physical discomfort from her uvula being stuck to her tonsil, the mere thought of something being someplace it isn't technically supposed to be was making her extremely emotionally uncomfortable. She tried gargling to get it to pop loose and drinking lots of water and jumping up and down the way you would to dislodge water stuck in your ear. I wasn't actually in the same room while she did all this, which kind of makes me sad, because I'm pretty sure if I'd had a video camera rolling we'd have been $10,000 richer.

Finally, she resorted to going to the bathroom and unhooking her uvula herself with her finger. After which it immediately latched on to the opposite tonsil sending her into yet another spaz attack.

I'm happy to report that, although we never did receive a definitive diagnosis, Daughter-Only and her uvula have made a full recovery. The downside of that is that I've lost my excuse to say the word "uvula," which really is one of my favorite words--easily in the Top Ten. I know I'm a word geek, but aren't some words just way more fun than others?

PS--Anyone seen Monster House? I haven't, but this moment in the trailer makes me want to pretty bad: Jenny: [waves flashlight at chandelier] Look! That must be its uvula! Chowder: Oh. So its a GIRL house Jenny: What?

PPS--Second day in on the NaBloPoMo thing and I've already gratuitously used the word "uvula" nine times. I'm not sure that's a good sign.


  1. Excellent word!
    As far as Monster House, I read the book to my 5 year old. It definitely was not 5 year old appropriate. So we read it twice. Enough said.

  2. I think that managing to use the word uvula at all is a triumph. Glad that the daughter is feeling improved and unstuck in her uvular regions.

  3. took my joke away there at the end. I was going to tell you for your next post to switch to the female body part instead of uvula. It's close enough sounding, don't ya think?

    Thanks for the laugh. This cracked me up. Now I'm going to be checking my kids for uvula stuckage when they get sick!

  4. what a traumatic and ultimately hilarious story (not for daughter-only, of course).

    but isn't that why we blog? to make fun of ourselves and join in the fun when others do it?

    ; )

  5. I had the same thing happen. I did test positive for strep. Because my tonsils were so swollen and puss filled the uvula stuck to it perfectly. Ugh, so gross. And it made me talk funny.